Randall's Human World Life
by Alphonse Elric's Lover
Summary: After nearly escaping the swamp from which he was banished to with a few scars, cuts, and bruises, he is found by a sweet ranch girl in Kansas. Soon, Randall's living a life in the human world with Horse Ranch owner, Sapphire Darling. At first, he didn't trust the human girl, but now he's starting to like her more and more. What is this feeling? RandallXOC Friendship. Reviews Chaps
1. Monster On Her Ranch

Chapter 1: Monster On Her Ranch

It was a normal morning to Sapphire Darling. She woke up, dressed into her usual cowgirl clothing, put her blonde hair in a ponytail, topped her head with her cowgirl hat, and went off to do her daily chores. She tended to her horses, feeding and grooming them, then she stocked the hay. After stocking the hay, she went out and tended to her cornfeild, scowling about her tractor still not working right. After tending and scowling, she decided to take a break and go on a nice long trail ride. So she brought out her most gentlest mare, Love, saddled and mounted her.

"Ready girl?" Sapphire asked the white mare.

Love snorted and nod her head. Sapphire smiled and put Love on a nice good trot. They were about to turn a corner when all of a sudden, Love started to go crazy.

"Whoa Love! Whoa girl!" Sapphire called to the frightened mare.

Love ignored her and continued to rear, neigh, and kick. By this time, Love's white area of her eyes were showing. Sapphire knew that something had spooked her horse, she only wished she knew what.

"Easy! Steady girl!" Sapphire unmounted Love and tried to calm her down.

Love looked into Sapphire's eyes and immediately calmed down.

"That's better." Sapphire smiled.

Her smile faded when she heard a moan behind her. It sounded like someone was in pain. She turned around, but saw no one. She heard the sound again, coming from behind a bush.

"What in the world?" Sapphire asked herself as she tied Love to a tree.

When she heard the moaning again, she quickly ran to the bush. She pushed aside the ferns and gasped at what she saw. There, laying in the bush, was a purple reptile like creature. It was completely purple with a little blue going down it's back and covering it's tail and had about eight legs with three fingers/toes. It had three fronds on top of it's head with red tips, and it's flat head had a wide mouth filled with sharp teeth. Sapphire would be scared of this creature if she was like 5 or 7, but she was not afraid, for she loved all sorts of animals, no matter how strange they were. What really scared Sapphire was all the injuries this creature had. It was completely covered with scars, cuts, and bruises, and it was coated with dry and wet blood.

"Oh." Sapphire made a pitiful noise when she heard the creature moan again. "You poor thing."

The creature, at the sound of Sapphire's voice slowly opened it's eyes to show emerald green eyes. It slowly turned it's head and stared at Sapphire. Sapphire could see in this creature's eyes that it was afraid.

"You don't have to be afraid." She told it. "I won't hurt you."

The creature just closed it's eyes and moaned again. Sapphire's heart ached. This creature was in pain, and all's she was doing was sitting here looking at it.

"What the hell am I doing?" She smacked herself. "I should go get help and quickly."

Sapphire stared at the creature once more.

"I'll be right back." She promised it. "Don't go anywhere."

With that, Sapphire stood up, went back to Love, untied and mounted her, and rode off back to the ranch.

Minutes later, Sapphire came back driving a white pickup truck. The creature stared at the truck with interest. Sapphire got out of the truck, carrying a first aid kit. She knelt down to the creature and opened the kit. The creature stared at the kit and gulped, Sapphire noticed.

"Don't be frightened." She cooed to it. "This will only make you feel better."

Sapphire took the alchohol rub and started gently cleaning the wounds. The creature shook and hissed as the alchohol stung it's wounds.

"I know it hurts," Sapphire stared at it. "But you have to bear with me here, or you'll never get better."

After the wounds were clean, Sapphire started with the disinfectent. As she was disinfecting the wounds, she finally noticed the deep gash going down it's back.

"That gash is deep." Sapphire stared at it in awe. "It's going to need stitches."

Sapphire pulled out a needle that was filled with fluid. The creature stared at it in horror.

"Don't worry about this." Sapphire told it when she noticed. "This is only used to make you go numb so that you won't feel the painful stitching."

With that, Sapphire injected the needle into the creature's back and emptied the fluid. Imediately, the creature felt itself go numb. Sapphire took out a needle and thread and started stitching up the gash. When the creature had feeling again, Sapphire was already done.

"There, all better." She smiled.

The creature did feel a lot better. It got up and stared at Sapphire. Sapphire's smile faded. The creature truly looked out of this world.

"You're not from around here, are you?" She asked it.

The creature gulped and slowly shook it's head.

"I now see what you are." Sapphire stepped toward it. "You're a monster, aren't you?"

The creature stared at her, then slowly nodded it's head. Sapphire smiled and laughed.

"Wow!" She laughed. "I never thought that I'd actually have to tend to a real live monster."

The creature smiled a thank you, turned and attempted to leave. But once it tried to leave, it staggered and fell over.

"Oh, oh!" Sapphire cried out, picking the creature up. "You can't leave just yet. You've lost a lot of blood and have to rest for a couple of days. I'll take care of you in those times."

With that, Sapphire picked up the creature and carried it to her truck.

"You know, you're pretty light for a monster my size." She laughed as she placed the creature in the passenger seat.


	2. Appologies

I'm sorry that the update is taking so long. I lost my flash drive a few weeks ago and I'm still trying to find it :(. I promise, that once I find my flash drive I'll update right away.

~ Alphonse Elric's Lover


	3. Introductions

I found my flash drive! Yay! Well, actually, my brother found it... on my dad's side of the bed.

Chapter 2: Introductions

On the drive back to the ranch, everything was really, awkwardly quiet. The creature mostly looked out the window with eyes wide with curiosity.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Sapphire smiled, breaking the silence. "I mostly spent my whole life here, in Kansas. Course I lived in the city, but I'm more of a country girl."

Sapphire looked at the creature, waiting for an answer. She got none.

"you don't talk much, do you?" She asked it. "That's ok. When I was young, I mostly stayed in the shadows and didn't socialize. I guess that's why people always picked on me."

The creature stared at her with wide eyes of shock, Sapphire laughed at it.

"It was always a bad idea pick a fight with me. If you mess with me, you get your ass woopen'."

The creature stared at her in confusion. Sapphire noticed and laughed.

"Oh, you probably don't know what ass means. You probably don't use that kind of talk where you come from... do you?"

The creature shook it's head.

"Well, ass is actually sailor talk." Sapphire explained. "It means butte. There's a lot of sailor talk words that mean other things in english like bitch means female dog."

The creature tilted it's head.

"And shit means... fecies."

The creature scrunched up it's face.

"And piss means urine."

The creature shook it's head.

"And dick means penis."

"Please stop." The creature spoke in a male voice.

"Ok, I'll stop." Sapphire laughed.

Her eyes suddenly opened wide and she stared at the creature.

"YOU TALKED!" She cried out, taking her hands off the wheel.

"Look out!" The creature suddenly called out, grabbing the wheel and taking control of the truck, steering them away from the tree.

"Oh my god!" Sapphire suddenly cried and took the wheel again.

They were both sweating in fear. They couldn't believe that they nearly prevented being in a horrible accident.

"Jeez girl." The creature sneared. "You trying to get us killed?!"

"Sorry, sorry." Sapphire appologized. "It's just that, it was the first time you actually spoke since I found you, and it kinda threw me off guard. Kinda distracted me."

"Oh, well. I'm sorry I distracted you." The creature snapped, not truely meaning it.

"It's alright." Sapphire smiled at the monster and held out a hand. "I'm Sapphire Darling."

The creature stared at the hand before finally taking it and shaking it.

"I'm Randall Boggs." The creature introduced himself.


	4. Help From A Human

Chapter 3: Help From A Human

"Randall Boggs." Sapphire smiled. "I like that name."

"Jee, uh, thanks." Randall stared at the human. "I like your name. It goes well with your eyes."

"Aw! Thanks Randall." And it was true, for Sapphire's eyes were a sapphire blue.

Randall looked out the window and saw a feild full of horses, a small house, and a large stable.

"What is this?" Randall asked.

"This is my home, Randall." Sapphire answered. "Welcome to my Horse Ranch."

"This is where I'll be staying until I get my strength back?" Randall sneered.

"Sure, unless you want to stay longer." Sapphire smiled.

"Nah, I'll just stay until I have my strength back." Randall shook his head.

"Ok, that's alright." Sapphire sighed, then smiled. "Even if it is only for a few days, it's still awesome to have a real monster living in my house. Especially one that's as unique as you."

Sapphire pulled over in front of her house and she got out. She ran to the passenger side to help Randall out, since he was having difficulty standing from the amount of blood he's lost. Sapphire wrapped Randall's arms around her shoulders and helped him walk. Randall stared at the place unsure what to say about it.

It wasn't Monsters Inc., it wasn't Monsters University, and it hell wasn't anything like his home.

"Now that I'm out of your vehicle and going slow enough to take in the 'beauty' of this place... It's not THAT bad I suppose... I GUESS I could stay longer."

Sapphire smiled.

"That's great Randall." She told him.

"At least until I find a way to get back home."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, well, you see... I'm lost. I seem to have wandered away from my natural home."

"Where's that?"

"None of your business human...But if you MUST know my home is far diffrent from this little place. At my home we scare human children. I was one of the best scarers." He said proudly.

"Why?"

"Well, their screams are our electricity."

"Oh, well that makes sense." Sapphire raised an eyebrow. "How are you suppose to get back home?"

"Through a child's closet." Randall answered. "Do you know any children?"

"I'm sorry Randall, but Kansas hasn't had any small children in past 6 years. Right now, there's only teenagers in Kansas, and there's nobody in Kansas pregnent right now."

Randall's fronds flatten against his head.

"How am I suppose to get home then?" Randall asked, it was clear he was very displeased with these news.

"I don't know." Sapphire sat Randall on the porch bench.

"Oh! I'll never get home!" Randall groaned.

"Don't be like that, Randall." Sapphire comforted him. "We'll get you back home."

"How do you think we can do that then? Is it even possible?" Randall looked at her.

"I'll help you look around the world 'till we find the right closet."

"Jee, uh, thanks Sapphire." Randall stared at her. "You know... for a human, you're not too bad."


	5. Book Club

Chapter 4: Book Club

Suddenly, a bunch of vehicles drove up to Sapphire's house.

"Oh shit!" Sapphire cried out. "Hurry Randall, get inside!"

"What's going on?" Randall asked as Sapphire pushed him into the house.

"I totally forgot that today I have book club with my friends."

"Book club?" Randall asked, climbing up on the wall, just beside the door. Even if he had low blood he could still climb. He wasn't as dizzy now anyways.

"Yeah, we're just starting Marked today."

"Could I maybe... join you?"

Sapphire stopped and stared at him.

"Join us?"

"Yeah... I like reading."

"... Are you a nerd?"

"... Maaaaaaybe, maybe not. Point is I want to join."

"Well... ok, grab a book!" Sapphire said happily, pointing to the last Marked book on her desk.

Randall grabbed the book and went outside with Sapphire. Randall was behind the human girl, out of sight of the humans at the moment. Just in case he 'disappeared' leaving only the book to be seen. Everybody was already sitting around the porch, holding their books.

"Sapphire! There you are." Cried a girl with long brown hair, hazel eyes, and wearing a sparkly pink shirt with blue skinny jeans.

"We were afraid you forgot that today was club meeting day." Said a boy with red hair, brown eyes, freckles, and wearing cowboy clothing and a cowboy hat.

"Derik, you know I would never forget." Sapphire lied. True she forgot about it...just for a second though! "Now, let's do a roll call. Derik Monroe."

"Here." Answered the cowboy.

"Susan Williams?"

"Right here." Called the girl in the sparkly pink shirt.

"Amy Colander?"

"Present!" Cried a girl with her blonde hair up in a bun, blue eyes, and wearing a white with red flowered blouse and red skirt.

"John McCally?"

"Aqi." Answered a boy with black hair, green eyes, and wearing thin black glasses, a blue t-shirt, and dark blue jeans.

"And of course, me, Sapphire Darling." Sapphire smiled. "Alright, looks like we're all here."

"Um, Sapphire." Randall whispered from behind her.

"Don't worry, I'm getting to you right now." Sapphire whispered back to him.

"Alright, let's get this meeting started." John suggested, already starting to open his book.

"Not yet." Sapphire stopped him.

"Why, what's the matter Sapphire?" Susan asked.

"Before we begin, I have an anouncement." Sapphire began, making everybody pay attention. "The amount of us in the book club will finally be an even number. We have a new male joining us today. He just arrived in Kansas and he will be staying with me."

"OOOH! You got a boy living in your house." Amy cried playfully.

Randall nearly gagged, almost choking on his own spit at Amy's reaction. The last thing he wanted was for someone to think he was in love with a human.

"Yes, now, before I introduce him, I have one thing to say. He is a really, really nice guy. He's not what you expect him to be. You know what we say..."

"NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER!" Everybody chimed.

"Very good. Now, without further abdue, please meet the new member of the book club, Randall Boggs."

Everybody clapped as Randall letted himself be seen and stepped out from behind Sapphire. They all stopped when they saw who he really was. The club stared at him in shock and fear.

"Um... hi everybody." Randall waved nervously, he turned to Sapphire and whispered. "They don't seem to like me."

"They need to get to know you first." Sapphire said to him.

"Um, well... welcome... Randall Boggs." Derik gulped. "Please have a seat."

Randall and Sapphire sat down with their books. Sapphire was sitting next to Susan, with Randall sitting on her other side next to Derik.

"Um, Sapphire?" Susan whispered.

"Yeah Susan?" Sapphire answered.

"You know Randall's a monster... right?"

"Yeah so?"

"So..." John began. "Monsters can't be trusted. Their cruel beings who have no feelings and only care for themselves."

"John!" Sapphire cried out in a scowl.

"We do too have feelings!" Randall shouted. "And we ca-..."

"Don't listen to him Sapphire!" Amy cried. "He has no heart!"

"He does have a heart!" Sapphire argued. "He wanted to live with me until he got home. He wanted to join the book club! Don't you go around saying he's a bad guy. What did we just talk about?"

Everybody got all quiet and stared at Sapphire.

"Never judge a book by it's cover?" Randall muttered under his breath.

"Very good Randall." Sapphire praised him, then turned to everybody else. "I've known Randall long enough to know he's a good guy. Just give him a chance and you'll see."

"Fine." Everybody sighed.

"Randall, why don't you start us off with the first page?" Sapphire asked the monster.

"With pleasure." Randall opened his book and began. "Chapter one... Just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse I saw the dead guy standing next to my locker. Kayla was talking nonstop in her usual K-babble, and she didn't even notice him... at first. Actually, now that I think about it, no one else noticed him until he spoke, which is, tragically, more evidence of my freakish inability to fit in. 'No, but Zoey, I swear to God Heath didn't get that drunk after the game. You really shouldn't be so hard on him.' 'Yeah,' I said absently. 'Sure.' Then I coughed... again. I felt like crap. I must be coming down with what Mr. Wise, my more-than-slightly-insane AP biology teacher, called the Teenage Plague. If I died, would it get me out of my geometry test tomorrow? One could only hope. 'Zoey, please. Are you even listening? I think he only had like four-I dunno-maybe six beers, and maybe like three shots. But that's totally beside the point. He probably wouldn't even have had hardly any if your stupid parents hadn't made you go home right after the game.' We shared a long-suffering look, in total agreement about the latest injustice committed against me by my mom and the StepLoser she'd married three really long years ago. Then, after barely half a breath break, K was back with the babbling."

Everybody was staring at Randall with wide eyes and open mouths. Randall looked at them all and began to feel uncomfortable.

"Too much?" He asked them meekly.

"No dude, that was great!" Derik smiled.

"You had your voice at the perfect pitch when it came to the dialogue." Amy cheered.

"Great monotone." John gave a thumbs up.

"You didn't even need to re-read a sentence!" Susan clapped.

"Great job Randall." Sapphire praised.

"Does this mean that I'm in?" Randall asked excitedly, although, he was unsure why he was excited. Being in a book club with a bunch of humans was nothing special to him.

"YES!" The whole book club shouted.

"Great! I just have one question." Randall began. "What are beers, and shots and all that?"

Everybody stared at Randall, then turned to Sapphire.

"We gotta take him out." Derik suggested.

"Yeah! Show him the ropes of the human world." Susan agreed.

"If you're gonna live in the human world, you gotta act like a human." John nodded.

"Randall, we're gonna take you out tonight and give you the best night you've ever had!" Amy cheered.

Randall turned to Sapphire and stared at her smiling face.

"Can I trust you all on this?" He asked her.

"Of course Randall." Sapphire nodded. "Trust us, we're gonna give you a night to remember. And we'll make sure that nobody hurts you."


	6. Monster In A Bar

Chapter 5: Monster In A Bar

That night, the club went out to a bar. At first Randall wasn't sure about this, mostly because of the disguise the humans made him wear. He was wearing a red and white plaid t-shirt that hid his second pair of hands, blue jeans that kept his tail and second pair of legs tucked in, Nike shoes, and one of Derik's cowboy hats to cover his fronds. The humans had to help him walk because he could not walk on only one pair of legs. He was use to walking with four pair of legs.

"I don't know about this guys." Randall whispered to them.

"Why? You look fantastic!" Susan told him.

"I feel REALLY uncomfortable... mostly because the jeans are BENDING MY TAIL! And it REALLY hurts."

"Hey, beauty takes pain." Amy assured.

"Randall, you HAVE to wear this." Sapphire began to explain. "If anyone here finds out that you're a monster, I'm sure you know what will happen."

"Yeah... I don't feel like being coated with my own blood again." Randall nodded.

"Yeah, I can't believe Sapphire found you that way." John shook his head.

"I'll wear the disguise." Randall agreed. "But, can I at LEAST go into the bathroom everyonce in awhile to stretch my tail out?"

"Sure, whatever." Sapphire waved her hand. "Just don't take off the disguise."

"I won't take off the disguise."

"Great, and don't worry Randall, you're gonna have the best night of your life." Derik promised.

Derik turnned to the bar and called for the bartender. The bartender was a girl with long black hair in a ponytail and had blue eyes and was wearing biker clothes. She smiled at Derik.

"Hey Derik." She said happily to him. "What's going on?"

"Hey Christina. The book club just got a new member." Derik explained.

"Really?"

"Yeah, and the thing is, he's living with Sapphire Darling."

"Oh really! Is that so? Lucky girl. Who is he?"

"His name is Randall Boggs. And get this... he's never gotten drunk!"

"What?!"

"Yeah, he's never had a beer, he's never had shots, he's never even been to a bar!"

"Is he here now?"

"Yeah," Derik turnned to Randall. "Hey Randall! Get over here! There's someone I want you to meet!"

Randall went over to Derik and sat down next to him.

"What?" Randall asked.

"Randall, meet my girlfriend Christina Heroine." Derik introduced them. "Christina, this is Randall Boggs."

"Nice to meet you Christina." Randall held out his hand.

"Nice to meet you too Randall." Christina shook his hand, lucky that Randall was wearing morsturizer to make his scales feel like human skin. "So what can I do for you?"

"Why don't you get Randall here a Volcanoe Blast?" Derik suggested.

"OOH! Great choice." Christina nodded. "Be right back."

With that, Christina left to make the drink. The rest of the club joined Randall and Derik. They ordered their drinks and turnned to the cowboy and the monster.

"So, what'd ya get?" Susan asked.

"I just ordered Randall the Volcanoe Blast." Derik answered.

"The Volcanoe Blast?!" Sapphire gasped. "That's awesome! Best drink in town."

"You said it Sapphire." Christina came back with the drink. "Here Randall, try this, and don't worry about paying. It's on the house."

Randall took the drink and stared at it. It was in a long red glass. It smelled sweet and bitter at the same time. It was cold to the touch and it was topped with some sort of fruit and an umbrella.

"What's in this?" Randall asked.

"It's a mixture of Vodka, grapefruit juice, pineapple juice, and dropped with grenadine, and topped with a pineapple slice and umbrella." Christina answered.

"Try it Randall, you'll like it." Amy assured.

Randall gulped and took a sip. His eyes opened wide and he took a gigantic gulp of the drink.

"Wow!" He cried. "This is the B-...it's not too bad..."

Randall finished the drink, ate the pineapple slice and sighed.

"That was a-...fine I guess..." He admitted.

"Christina! Get him a shot of plain Vodka." Susan suggested.

"Coming right up!" Christina pulled out a small shot glass and poured a clear liquid inside it. "Here Randall, try it."

Randall took the glass and gulped the burning liquid.

"Woo!" He cheered. "Best stuff I ever tried. I could drink this stuff all night!"

"Well, there's a Shot Contest about to start." Christina explained. "You should join."

"I'm in!"

"Ok, follow me and we'll start."

Everyone followed Christina to the contest. The other contestants were already there. Randall took a place infront of a table filled with shots. Christina took a microphone and spoke into it.

"Alright ladies and gentlemen, it's time to start the Shot Contest!"

Everybody clapped and cheered.

"We have three contestants joining us. First up is Tyler James!"

A slim black teenager with fluffy black hair, brown eyes, and wearing a fedora, a red t-shirt, and black jeans, stood up and bowed. Everybody cheered for him.

"Next up is Bruce Daylander."

A big bald meaty guy with green eyes and wearing biker clothes, pounded his fist as everybody cheered.

"And last but not least, Randall Boggs!"

Randall smiled as everybody cheered, the book club cheered the loudest.

"Each contestant will have to drink 5,000 shots of Vodka. Whoever finishes their 5,000 first, wins 100,000 dollars! On your mark, get set... GO!"

Imediately, the three contestants went to drinking. Randall so far was in first place, already on his 15th shot. Bruce was in second, but was catching up to Randall, and Tyler was way behind.

"Randall's taking the lead, already on his 27th shot, but Bruce is catching up on his 23rd shot. And Tyler's falling behind on his 15th shot."

"Wow." John whistled. "5,000 shots for 100,000 dollars?"

"He's gonna get so drunk." Sapphire shook her head.

"At least he's having fun." Susan shrugged.

"Randall's on his 46th shot!" Christina continued. "Oh! But what's this? Bruce has passed Randall on his 48th shot. And Tyler is speeding up on his 37th shot."

"Come on Randall! You can do this!" Amy cheered.

"Bruce is on his 81st shot! Oh! But Randall is on his tail at 78 shots! And Tyler is catching up with 71 shots."

"Tail!" Derik suddenly cried. "Christina probably shouldn't have mentioned tails."

"Why?" Susan asked.

"Remember Randall complaining of how the jeans bend his tail?" Sapphire explained.

"Oh! Randall's probably distracted now!"

"Oh yeah." John nodded. "He's squirming."

And it was true. Randall was squirming with the look of pain in his face. Suddenly, Tyler passed Randall.

"Tyler has just passed Randall, leaving him behind in last place with his 103rd shot!" Christina announced.

"He's losing it out there!" Amy cried. "What do we do?"

Sapphire thought and suddenly had an idea. She made a bullhorn with her hands and shouted to the lizard monster.

"Randall! Don't think about your tail! Think about how we'll use the money to go around the world to find the right closet that leads to your natural habitat!"

At the thought of winning the money to find the closet to home, Randall picked up the speed in his drinking.

"Whoa!" Christina cried. "Randall's picking up speed fast! He's catching up! He's passed Tyler! Now he's passed Bruce! He's in the lead at 218 shots!"

Randall's 'friends' started to cheer. Randall continued to go at his speed. After 3 hours and 36 minutes, Randall finally won.

"And Randall is the winner!" Christina shouted, handing him the 100,000 dollar check.

Randall took the check and smiled as best he could. He was feeling a little woozy and sleepy.

"I'd just like to say, that *hic* I never would have won, without *hic* *hic*the confidence my friends ga*hic* me." Randall smiled. "Derik Monroe, *hic*my Colander, Su*hic* *hic*an Williams, John McCally, my new *hic* friend Christina Heroine. *hic* *hic*nd the girl I'm living with, Sapphir*hic* *hic* Darling."

Everybody cheered for Randall's friends, who were blushing madly.

"Guys, I'd just like to tha*hic* you for taking me out for the *hic* BEST night of my *hic* *hic* life, and getting to kno*hic* me before clawing me to dea*hic*." Randall took a bottle of beer and held it up. "Cheers!"

"CHEERS!" Everybody cried then they all gulped down the beer.

Randall wobbly walk over to the Book Club and smiled.

"What'd ya think of my *hic* speach?" He asked them.

"Randall, it was awesome." Susan praised.

"It was really good." John nodded.

"Ready to continue the party?" Derik asked.

"I don't know." Randall placed a hand on his forehead and swayed. "I feel *hic* little dizzy."

Suddenly, Randall threw up. He fell and crashed into Sapphire's arms. It shocked everybody.

"Maybe we should put him to bed." Sapphire suggested.

Everybody nodded and left the bar.

"See ya later babe!" Derik called to Christina.

"Bye guys, see you soon." Christina waved them off.


	7. Who I Am Hates Who I've Been (Song Title

Chapter 6: Who I Am Hates Who I've Been (Song Title)

The next morning, Sapphire woke up bright and early. She brushed her blonde bedhead hair straight, brushed her teeth, washed her face, put on a sparkly blue tang-top and yellow-green caprise, and went to the guest room to check on Randall. She quietly opened the guest room door and looked inside. She was surprised when she saw the guest bed empty and made. Sapphire closed the door in confusion. She looked at her watch. 8:30 in the morning.

"How early did he get up?" Sapphire asked herself and went downstairs.

She looked around, but she didn't see the purple lizard monster.

"Randall?!" She called, recieving no response.

She went into the kitchen and looked around. Everything was completely clean. Her eyes led to the table and she saw a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast and a glass of fresh squeezed orange juice. There was also a note. Sapphire picked it up and read it.

"A perfect day, starts with a perfect breakfast. Enjoy Sapphire. - Randall."

Sapphire laughed and sat down at the table to eat the delicious looking breakfast Randall had made for her. She was astonished by how good everything tasted.

"Jee Randall." She shook her head. "You sure can cook."

Sapphire finished her breakfast and washed her plate and glass. She put the dishes away and sighed.

"Now, to find that reptilian monster." She said to herself. "But where could he be?"

Sapphire went outside and looked around, she saw no one.

"OW!" She heard the voice of Randall. "Stupid hammer!"

Sapphire went around the house. She gasped when she saw Randall by her tractor with tools. He was also singing as he worked.

"Who I am hates who I've been." Randall sang.

"Randall, what are you doing?" She asked him, startling Randall into banging his head on the metal pipe.

"OOOWWW!" He cried out in pain and came out from underneath the tractor, rubbing his head.

"Oh my god! Are you ok?" Sapphire bent down to him.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Randall looked at his hand. "I'm not bleeding or anything."

"What were you doing?"

"Well, I heard that you were having trouble with your tractor, heard that it's not working right. So I decided to fix it up for you."

"Jee, thanks Randall, never knew that you were so good with technology."

"Well, it's a gift. I'm also pretty good with cooking."

"Yeah, thanks for the breakfast. It was really good."

"You're welcome. I use to cook alot..for an old friend." Randall went under the tractor and went back to work.

"So... what was that song you were singing?" Sapphire asked.

Randall stopped working and sadly sighed.

"Just a little something I came up with." He answered.

"What's it about?"

"It's about the new me hating the old me."

"Why would you hate the old you?"

"Because the old me has done something terrible." Randall came out from underneath the tractor and stared at Sapphire. "Years ago, I kidnapped a kid to take her screams using one of the inventions I made called a Scream-Extractor."

"Take her scream?!" Sapphire cried. "That's terrible! What if she was in danger?! She wouldn't be able to scream for help!"

Randall's fronds flatten against his head. He did not like the way Sapphire was yelling at him.

"I didn't want to hurt the kid." He began to explain. "I just wanted to show that Mike Wazowski that I could be better than that Sullivan!"

"... Huh?" Sapphire was confused.

"Mike and I were old friends in college. I was a lonely nerdy shy guy... I barely had any friends. I tried everything to make Mike my friend. I even made my famous cupcakes and wrote 'Be My Pal' with icing. Mike and I finally became friends, and I tutored him to be better in school. But then, Mike and Sully, who were rivals at the time, got thrown out of the scaring program. They joined Oozma Kappa and went to the Scare Games to get back in. It was heartbreaking for me to find out that Mike had replaced me with Sully as his new best friend."

"No, no Randall. I'm sure Mike didn't replace you."

"He did! He said that Sully was his BEST friend! ... I'M his best friend! I met him first! I became his friend first! What did that big blue hairy guy have that I didn't?! Then it came to me. ... He was a better scarer than me. So, to show Mike that I could be better than Sully, I kidnapped Mary Gibbs and tried to steal her screams... thus having me banished into the human world. And I realized, that I can't get my friend back by trying to be better than Sully. I just have to ask Mike to take me back as a friend."

"Mary Gibbs?" Sapphire asked. "As in... Maria Gibbs?"

"Yeah. ... Do you know her?" Randall asked.

"She's one of my childhood friends who lives in California."

Randall's eyes opened wide. Everything suddenly went silent. Even the horses in the field stopped nieghing.

"Well... this is awkward." Randall nervously laughed.

"You tried to steal my friend's scream!" Sapphire angrily shouted.

"I didn't want to hurt her! And I'm ashamed of what I tried to do! That's kinda what my whole song is about." Randall sighed, then started to sing his song. "I watched the proverbial sunrise, coming up over the Pacific. And you might think I'm losing my mind. But I will shy away from the specifics. Cause I don't want you to know where I am. Cause then you'll see my heart in the saddest state it's ever been. This is no place to try and live my life."

"Randall." Sapphire began.

"Stop right there! That's exactly where I lost it. See that line?" Randal drew a picture of the human world and the monster world on each side of a line. "Well I never should've crossed it."

"Randall listen."

"Stop right there! Well, I never should've said that it's the very moment that I wish that I could take back. I'm sorry for the person I became. I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change. I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again. Cause who I am hates who I've been. Who I am hates who I've been. ... I talked to absolutely no one. Couldn't keep to myself enough. And things bottled inside. Had finally begun to create so much pressure that I'd soon blow up. And, I heard the reverberating footsteps. Syncing up to the beating of my heart. And I was positive that unless I got myself together. I would watch me fall apart. And I can't let that happen again. Cause then you'll see my heart. In the saddest state it's ever been. This is no place to try and live my life."

"Look, I'm sure Mary."

"Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it. See that line? Well, I never should've crossed it. Stop right there. Well, I never should've said that it's the very moment that I wish that I could take back. Stop right there! That's exactly where I lost it. See that line? Well, I never should've crossed it. Stop right there! Well, I never should've said that it's the very moment that I wish that I could take back. I'm sorry for the person I became. I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change. I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again. Cause who I am hates who I've been. Who I am hates who I've been. Who I am hates who I've been. And who I am will take the second chance you gave me. Who I am hates who I've been. Cause who I've been only ever made me. So sorry for the person I became. So sorry that it took so long for me to change. I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again. Cause who I am hates who I've been. Who I am hates who I've been. ... Who I am... hates who I've been."

(If you want to see the music video of Randall singing this song, go to and type in Randall- Who I Am Hates Who I've Been in the search box.)


	8. Old Thoughts

Chapter 7: Old Thoughts

Sapphire sighed, seeing the monster has been through alot. Well, as his friend she shouldn't care about what he did in his past, right? Forgive and forget... But it was clear he needed someone to listen... Did he even have any friends where he's from?

"Talk and I'll listen." Sapphire rolled her eyes, sitting on the ground with her legs crossed.

Randall sighed and sat on top of the tractor, his 4 legs folded under him. His tail nervously swaying side to side behind him.

"Well, I guess I should start from the begining." He began. "I was in Monsters University, which is a college. I was a scaring major. I was light in color, I couldn't control my camaflouge very well, and I wore glasses. I was shy, nerdy, and just wanted a friend. I was in room 3 at the college. Mike Wazowski was my roommate and my best friend. He was a scaring major too. He told me to get rid of my glasses because when I blend, the glasses don't blend with me. I can't see very well without those, and contacts are way too expensive, so I have to squint to see."

"Yes," Sapphire nodded. "Go on."

"Well, we were in the same class together, but unfortunantely, so was Sullivan. Everybody loved that guy, and Mike was jealous of him. All's Mike ever wanted to do was study and try to be better than Sully. I decided to help him, by tutoring him."

"You said something before about Mike and Sully getting kicked out of the scaring program?"

"Yeah, they really messed up. On the last day of the semester, there was suppose to be an exam to show how scary you were. Mike and Sully decided to try and compete with being scary. That was a bad mistake because they accidently bumped into the statue of Dean Hardscrabble, and her only suvinier from Monsters Inc., the Monstropolis Company, was a scream canister filled with a child's scream. It fell off the statue and fell to the floor. At first it didn't do anything, then all of a sudden, all the screams from that thing came out. Once it was empty, it fell apart."

"Yikes!" Sapphire's eyes widened. "They should've gotten expelled from that. Destroying school property, especially when it belongs to the Dean."

"I thought that's what was going to happen." Randall nodded. "I was too frightened to see what was going to happen, so I turnned invisible and ran out the building. I was glad to find out that they didn't get expelled, but I never got to see Mike ever again."

"That must've been very hard on you."

"It was. And while Mike was gone, Johnny Worthington, the president of the Roar Omega Roar, was impressed by my camaflouge abilities. He wanted me to join his fraternity club. I couldn't believe! I was finally with the cool kids! It's all I've ever wanted, to be a part of the cool group. That and also wanting a friend."

"What happened after you joined ROR?"

"Well, we signed up for the Scare Games. And to my surprise, so did Mike! I was confused at first, because he wasn't part of a fraternity, then I found out that he was part of Oozma Kappa. He didn't have enough monsters on his team so he asked me to be on it. I told him that I was already part of Roar Omega Roar and I declined, so it was Sully who had to join."

"You rejected your best friend?! How could you?!" Sapphire shook her head.

"I know, I know!" Randall burried his face in his top hands. "I should've went with him, because halfway through the Scare Games, Roar Omega Roar and Oozma Kappa were like, at eachothers throats 24/7! Johnny even had the nerve to cover them all up in bright neon paint, cover them with flowers, and have ME dump a whole fishing net full of stuffed animals on them! I knew Mike was out there with them, but..."

Randall sighed and shook his head. Sapphire laid a comforting hand on one of his.

"Go on Randall." She said gentley to him. "I'm still listening."

"Well, it turnned out that Oozma Kappa won the Scare Games. I became rivals with Sullivan because he embarressed me in front of the whole school."

"What'd he do?"

"He roared so loudly that the room that I was in started shaking. I fell off the wall and landed on a rug that was pink with red hearts. My scare wasn't very good. I didn't understand why the rest of my team was so angry with me, or why everyone else was laughing, until I looked down at myself. I've hit the ground so hard that I blended into the same color as the rug. My last words to Sullivan after that was 'That's the last time I lose to you, Sullivan'."

"Randall!" Sapphire scolded.

"I know! I know! I know it was just an accident but... GGGAAAWWWWDDD this is so hard!" Randall banged his head against the tractor's steering wheel.

"Randall, stop!" Sapphire pulled him away from the steering wheel. "You're gonna give yourself brain damage!"

"I ain't got any brains LEFT to damage." Randall groaned sadly.

THAT seemed to piss Sapphire off. She raised her hand and slapped Randall across his face... HARD.

"OOOOWWWWWWW!" Randall fell to the ground, cluching his face in his hands. "You gotta hard hit ya know."

"Don't you EVER! EVER! Say that you got no brains!" Sapphire was steaming mad.

Randall was frightened. He had never seen her so mad before, so he disappeared from sight. He quickly crawled across the ground and away, hiding behind a tree, even though he couldn't be seen anyways. Damn human hit him, now scaring him! Why was he being scared by a HUMAN! If Mike saw him now he would laugh.

'Aww, fuck Mike!' Randall thought. 'He doesn't understand the power I feel in that bitch!'

Randall suddenly stopped himself. Was he starting to talk like a human? Let's think... fuck... bitch... HE WAS! First he dressed up like a human, then he got drunk like a human, and now he's starting to talk like a human?! What was going on with him?!

"You stupid human! You don't know who you're messing with. You don't know what you're doing! Pitiful human..."

Randall heard Sapphire sigh. He peeked from behind the tree and saw Sapphire looking around her, probably trying to find him.

"Randall, come back out." She called. "I'm sorry I hit you. It's just that... I think you're smart... you're really smart... and you saying that you don't have any brains... well that's lying to yourself."

"I'll say what I want about myself damn it! You just need to butt out and stop changing me damn it!" Randall hissed and climbed up further in the tree, just incase she found him somehow.

Sapphire heard rustling in a nearby tree. Guessing that it was Randall, she climbed up after him. She saw a branch that was slightly bended and she sat on it. How unusual it was to Randall that she found out that it was the same branch he was sitting on.

Randall hissed loudly at her, quickly jumping to the branch above them, easily holding onto it while upside down.

"Go away!"

"Randall..."

"Just leave me alone you human!"

Sapphire frowned and followed him up the tree.

"I have a name you know." She scowled. "I would appreciate it if you used it."

"You're not the boss of me!"

"Well, how would you feel if I didn't call you by your name? What if I just called you Monster, or Lizard-Boy?"

That done it. Randall hated being called Lizard-Boy. He has taken it from Mike, he most certainly will NOT take it from a human. Randall snarled and pounced on her. The two of them fell from the tree and onto the hard ground. Randall made himself visible, on top of Sapphire. He was glaring at her and growling.

"Don't you EVER call me Lizard-Boy again!" Randall let his claws dig into her shoulders and arms, sense he had two pairs of them, but he also made sure they didn't break the skin. Randall put up with Mike saying it then because he considered it a 'pet name' or a nickname... they use to be friends after all. Only Mike was allowed to call him Lizard-Boy! "Don't you get it, I'm a big bad monster that can kill you if I please! LEARN. YOUR. PLACE."

Suddenly, there was a sound of a gunshot. Sapphire saw Randall's eyes open wide. He loosened his grip a little and starting swaying. He slowly closed his eyes and fell on top of her.

"Randall?" Sapphire sounded worried.

She placed a hand on his back to move him. She felt something warm and sticky oozing from his back. Sapphire gasped as she pulled her hand away. She looked at her hand and nearly screamed when she saw the blood. Sapphire wiggled out from under Randall and stared horrified at the wounded reptile.

"Sapphire! Are you ok?" She heard someone ask behind her.

Sapphire turnned around and stared shocked. It was Derik who had spoken to her. In his arms, was an Elephant Rifle, the end steaming with gunpowder.

"WHAT THE HELL DERIK!" Sapphire screamed, running at him.

Sapphire grabbed ahold of the gun and yanked it out of his hands. She loaded it and pointed the end at Derik.

"Whoa! Sapphire calm down!" Derik held up his arms in defense.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!" Sapphire yelled. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU SHOOT HIM?!"

"Well, I was on my way to go huntin' when I thought I should stop by to see how Randall was doing." Derik explained. "When I saw him attacking you, I just reacted into shooting him."

"GOD DAMN YOU DERIK!" Sapphire still screamed. "YOU COULD'VE KILLED HIM!"

"Well, lucky I didn't." Derik frowned. "Because you're obviously extremely attatched to him."

"FUCK YOU! GET OFF MY PROPERTY!" Sapphire demanded.

Sapphire then stuck the gun up towards the sky and shot all the bullets empty. She threw the gun on the ground and went over to Randall, who was still unconsious and bleeding.


End file.
